Part I. Why you need to have that difficult conversation -- The conversation can change your life -- The benefits of a good conversation -- Part II. The essentials of a good conversation -- Be emotionally present -- Be clear about "you" and "I" -- Clarify the problem -- Balance grace and truth -- Stay on task -- Use the formula, when you do "a, " I feel "b" -- Affirm and validate -- Apologize for your part in the problem -- Avoid "shoulds" -- Be an agent for change -- Be specific -- Differentiate between forgiving and trusting -- Part III. Seeing how it's done -- Telling people what you want -- Making someone aware of something -- Stopping a behavior -- Dealing with counterattack and other problems -- Part IV. Getting ready to have the conversation -- Why you need to get ready -- How to get ready -- Part V. Having the conversation with people in your life -- With your spouse -- With someone you're dating -- With your kids -- With your parents -- With your adult children -- At work -- With people in authority.